Oh…. Alright!! I know!!! I was much better at this the first pregnancy. But, I didn’t have an active toddler – oh and I also didn’t feel as worn out….. and I was 2.5 years younger (Hahaha).
Well – whatever the excuse and as valid as it maybe, here is my final check-in for baby number 2. She will be here in the next 5 days or so, as I will need to be induced.
How far along? 38 weeks
Maternity clothes: I mean…. Yeaaa! I can’t fit in anything….. almost running out of room in the maternity clothes! Hahahahah, oh dearie me.
Stretch marks? Nothing for certain — but they will be here this time. I was VERY LUCKY with my pregnancy with Shennie…… but I can see where things will be looking different on me after this time around.
To be frank, I have had some really tough days thinking about all that. How my body won’t look anything like it did before babies, and certainly not like after Shennie….. It is very hard to process. And, not even for vanity. Just because who you’ve always seen is vastly different. What you might have loved about your physical body may now become something different to you – or something you hated might now be something you appreciate. I don’t know if I am even describing it properly, but it is just huge. In ways you wouldn’t think or consider.
I imagine that is why many women struggle with the feeling that they should appreciate what their bodies can do, render, and accomplish, yet become broken and feeling like they are no longer attractive. Everything about you is different – your body, your mind, your focus, your drive, your expectations….. but some how you and others are used to the old you…. It’s just wild, man…. WILD.
Sleep: I remember that. It was great stuff. I am so uncomfortable, physically, that it is hard to sleep for long at all. I’m up or flopping around all night. Then the 4-6 pee breaks in the night. The reflux that wakes you up coughing like you are dying on your own vom. Then the toddler cries, “mommy” and crawls into bed with you….. Maybe you can catch a quick nap but…. nah. Sleep….. I miss it.
Best moment this week: Spending time with Shenandoah talking about her new job as big sister, watching her get more excited, having her tell me that she wants Baby Sister to be born so she can hold her, hugging and kissing my belly, seeing her wanting to help get things ready and be apart of it all… and just talking with her about everything has really been wonderful. I know it all might blow up in a couple weeks, but ultimately I think she will be a great big sister and I appreciate the part of her personality that is so caring and intuitive. She is interested/excited/in tune with the idea of this new part of our lives, and the fact that her little heart and brain are trying to dort it all out makes me so proud of her.
I, also, think that getting scheduled for induction was one of the best moments of the week. I mean, I am nervous about it and there are definitely some things about inductions I am not keen on. However, having the piece of mind that Jon will be here, we can plan for Shennie’s school and care, we will have time to sort some things out…. and knowing that I only have so many more days of current pain and issues is a bit of a load off.
Miss anything? I miss a LOT — but I am ready to meet this baby and try to get back to walking/exercising, laying down in ANY position I choose, not grunting everytime I attempt something requiring bending or moving or existing…. We are just ready to meet this baby and have her join the family from outside of my body 🙂
Movement: Kicks, twirls, dance parties, and the Mike Tyson punches have slowed as there isn’t much room left in there for her – but the rolls, hiccups, and occasional attempts at stretching out are still happening a lot through each day.
Food cravings: Not really….. mostly I just eat what/when I can. The reflux, lack of space, and overall end of pregnancy has me kinda grazing or eating just small boring things. A full meal is not appealing to me, and it wouldn’t fit in me!
Symptoms: …… I am just overly pregnant. That’s the symptom now folks – massively pregnant.
Belly button in or out? I spent a long time crying, cursing, ranting, raving, crying, being grossed out, and crying about this…. but… it. is. out. I am truly devistated and terrified of this. It is a living nightmare for me.
Wedding rings on or off? TI haven’t been able to wear them in so long that I often forget I even have any.
Happy or moody most of the time: So, mostly, I am drained. And I believe the constant discomfort and exhaustion make me moody – but I am not thinking it is hormonal driven moody. Just the rundown, overwhelming, lack of sleep, and such.
Looking forward to: Meeting this little girl next week!!!! What else?!